Most people — friends, family members, co-workers, gym acquaintances — generally have a pretty good take on where someone is emotionally regarding thoughts about his or her ex-spouse following a divorce.
For example, it’s a fairly good indication that there is still a bit more to do to get things rightly centered and moving forward when every other voiced thought coming across from a divorced friend or sibling on the adjacent treadmill is about something the ex is doing.
As one divorce author notes, “It takes time to put the pieces back together.”
Based on her experience, Lois Tarter provides a bit of information on a few indicators that serve as evidence that those pieces are nearly back in place.
For starters, his or her name doesn’t continuously crop up anymore, which is something that is notably discernible to friends and family. It is a strong flashing light indicating that forward movement is being made.
Tandem proof: No evident rage or undue fixation when the ex is seen with a new love interest. As Tarter notes, retained equanimity can be seen as the outward manifestation of the view that a former partner “is now somebody else’s problem.”
A ready and easy sharing of holidays with the ex and kids is also strong evidence that things are over and no longer marked by drama. Rather than fighting over child custody issues, parenting plans and visitation, a person who is truly “over it” simply considers it easier to literally go along for the ride.
Tarter adds that final — and strong — evidence signifying a moving on is simply forgetting to respond when a former spouse calls or sends an email.
Source: Huffington Post, “When you know that you’re over your ex.,” Lois Tarter, March 16, 2013