Men following divorce: for many, a process of recovery

It is often remarked that men have different issues and concerns during the divorce process than their soon-to-be former wives. Concerns of divorcing men who are also fathers often focus on child custody and visitation, as well as child support and perhaps alimony. Many men who have gone through the divorce process have stated that they felt uncomfortable and lacking in confidence when dealing with judges and the legal process, feeling at times as though they were a disadvantaged party in the divorce proceeding.

That may or may not be true in a given case, but it is certainly the perception among many men. A number of them believe, for example, that they have absolutely no say in the child support amount that they will ultimately be tasked to pay. In fact, a number of factors can influence support payments, and assistance from an experienced family law attorney can go far toward ensuring that payment amounts are reasonable.

Commentators on how men respond to change following divorce also note that ex-husbands act in highly variable ways to reestablish normalcy and self-esteem following a breakup. For many men, their ego and sense of self-worth was tied entirely to their former spouses and their children. With much of what formerly constituted routine and normalcy gone following a divorce, the sense of loss that can occur with many men can be material and even life-altering in the extreme.

As one divorce columnist notes, for men as well as it women it simply takes time to adjust and move through that process en route to a more meaningful future. Feelings and emotions cannot be sped up or short-circuited, but, rather, must be honestly dealt with, with grieving and a recovery of self-esteem occurring over time.

As that writer notes, “Recovery from divorce for men is about moving through the phases of grief and coming out the end with a new outlook and a new life.”

Source: Huffington Post, “Men after divorce: ego, self esteem, & recovery,” Kyle Morrison, May 1, 2013

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