Several commentators in a recent family law-related article note the obvious disconnect that features for many people when they move out of a family home and begin a new journey elsewhere.
In many instances, the very prospect can seem centrally marked by ambiguity. On the one hand, there are all those positive things that many people associate with a move: adventure, a fresh start, a rekindling of interests, new friends and so forth.
On the other hand, though, moves — which are big deals in any case — can seem fraught with peril and even a bit overwhelming for the personal stresses they elicit. The laundry list of things to timely attend to can be both complex and lengthy. Sort and pack items. Solicit help from friends. Contact a moving company. Deal with service providers — mail, electric, garbage, cable, phone — relevant to both the old and new address. Argue with a divorcing or just-divorced spouse about personal property.
Hang on. Regarding that last little reference to spousal acrimony, the experts say that it is far better to fight the urge than to fight the ex.
Don’t make it your “last stand,” says one family law attorney.
Of course, it is right and just for any divorcing party to stand strong and push hard to ensure an equitable distribution of marital property.
Just don’t take it too far. When people bicker strenuously at the end of a marriage over every stick of furniture and kitchen appliance, says the president of a moving company who has worked with divorcing couples, “they’re really fighting over an emotional issue.”
There are strong reasons to avoid that, when possible, and for obvious reasons. Duking it out to the very end– especially over a kitchen lamp or other trivial piece of personal property — burns bridges, isn’t good for the kids and hardly conduces to a healthy emotional state.
“It’s not important which pots and pans you use to make dinner,” notes the moving expert.
Buy new ones, and use them pursuant to your celebration of a fresh start in your new home.
Source, Richmond Times-Dispatch, “Avoid a tug-of-war in divorce moves,” Peter Bacque, Oct. 25, 2014