Divorcing without destroying your life

A new book about divorce offers some practical advice on achieving common goals, as the title explains: “How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself.”

Attorney Laura Wasser’s book gives readers ideas on how to approach different aspects of the divorce process, beginning with one of the first steps: telling the spouse that the end of the marriage has arrived and that you will have to work together to make good choices about custody for your children.

Wasser advises clients and readers to tell their spouse that it’s over in a considerate way. The Golden Rule applies here: tell unto others as you would have them tell bad news unto you.

Don’t be cute and don’t try to be the angel of death. Instead, think of a considerate way to break the news that includes a heartfelt message that you will always care for your spouse, and that you thank them for their love and support over the years, but that the time has come to part ways.

She also advises people headed for divorce to seek out a good therapist who can help them deal with issues about the end of a relationship, as well as how to deal with sharing custody of children and getting emotional support in a trying time.

Unsurprisingly, Wasser urges her readers to get a good family law attorney to help them through the legal issues in divorce. She urges people to look for “a problem-solver, an advocate, an expert advisor on the law and on your rights and responsibilities,” rather than someone who is a “pitbull.”

She says today’s family law attorneys should be skilled negotiators and litigators who can help present workable compromises and solutions to problems to the former spouse.

Divorce should done in the right way, she writes. Having friends and family at your side, as well as a good therapist and a good attorney will help ensure that it gets done in a way that you won’t regret when you look back.

Source: Business Insider, “7 Tips For Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life,” by Erin Fuchs, Oct. 29, 2013

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